feels like crying

hurmmm.woke up this mroning with the pain at my right leg...man when the pain going to go away.im tired of it..but this morning it hurts so much feels like cutting off my leg n put it all together again..so in pain..from my butt to the feet.i think its because it is cold today n people who has this cannot stay long in a cool place..it became worse but if it a hot place it will be ok...i experience that already.being bathe with salt with the past few days and i think it helps a bit n thats why i want to go n buy bath salt or normal raw salt, so that i can bathe it with warm water..another thing that relieves my pain is body shop spray . something got to do with foot spray i thing help relieves pain cause it is cool..

the real me??

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

love love love

missing this little angel so much.

i want nobody nobody but u

i want nobody nobody but u

missing him so much.all the fun times that we had.all the memories..you are my love forever...

feeling so lonely

despite i got the chance to soend 1 day at MSU with all my frends it helps me relieve my stress away.but as soon as i got home alone n lone..i feel so sad..thinking about my sickness...im so desperately want to cure n get well so bad..n i want to learn goto MSU and stop thinking bout the sickness.but whenever im alone that think keeps bugging my mind..being crying all day and everyday...just feeling so lonely n helpless....i want to cure so bad n iwant to be back normal..im so sad that i cannot go to class for the first week but ill be going there on the second week by hook or by crook...i miss my frends which entertain me n help me gwt rid of thinking that im sick....i feel so lonely n alone and as if no one caresf or me....im helpless...

next semester expectation

next semester expectation:

1. no more internet on weekdays
2. study and make notes on the topic learnt on the day
3. eat healthy
4. no more maggi
5. eat less junk food
6. study at least 2 hours a day
7. clean room always
8. pray 5 times a day
9. recite quran every nite and yassin on thursday
10. where tudung

a little light shines in the dark

hye there bloggie,

yes theres a light in this dark end, went to HOSPITAL KUALA LUMPUR to meet the specialist. he said that this is a very rare case.. and he dont think it is cancerous yet.cause i didnt show any symptom.he said that he will have a meeting with 2 or 3 more specialist from neurosurgeri, radio and so forth.not so gud in the terms..anyway he said that i should be careful nrest and come quickly to HKL if theres a problem.. adn if i dont show any bad symptom no need for surgery in the nearest time..THANK GOD.but still need to do surgeri.he said its like fluid so the surgeri will be like sucking it out...still to early to do anything cause he said that he need to be careful and study a lot..thats a gud doc.... i went back a little hope in my heart and hope for the best and not the worse..ALLAH is there with me n im sure he will help me....

boring!!

what a boring day today..doing nothing just lying down... internet.. n eat n cannot sleep..boy i miss sleeping peacefully.. when am i going o get better please im tired of it already n i want it to end..i know its an ujian for me..i accept it but please cant it be gone now????? please ALLAH.... ive learn my lesson....i wont forget u anymore....please get rid of all the bad things inside or outside of me n the sickness that im having.... AMIN!!!!

just got back from kelantan

hye bloggie!!

i just came back from kelantan yesterday..it was one hell of experience on riding a wheelchair in the airport..went there to seek for traditional doctors to get me cure..ikhtiar all they way.... whether it is success or not lets leave it to ALLAH..hope things will get better

hey bloggie!!!

i went to opent my wound today and again there is still a little bit gap..please ALLAH let the gap stop n let my skin comes together nicely...im so damn bored..using this holidays just 4 resting n curing my disease.. i miss going out...watch movies n have fun..would i ever feel that again??? or would i end up in a wheelchair and be and OKU person??? lets pray not.... tommorow i'll be going back to kelantan to cure using the traditional way..hope there will be improvement or cured..and im well enough... and again the same problem pain in my tooot............ sucks really..cant sleep when its bitting me off... got leg cramps all the time.....come on im no football player...

anyway congrates kelatan for winning..im so proud of you..

and for my idol AIDIL ZAFUAN get well soon k..my dear...you are a strong man

aidil zafuan..love him

suddenly got the blogging thing back

its been a long tyme that i didnt update my blog.cause ive got the blog thingy failure..and rather than that im having problems with my health... nothing much happen to me just that been going here and there just to get me cured.. the latest i know that i have tumor somewhere in my stomach and in my butt bone and the name of my disease is malignant neurofibrosarcoma sacrum and the sickness is 1 in a 1000000. imagine that!!!! maybe my case is the first case in MALAYSIA .

well college life!!! im on vacation right now. a 1 month vacation and that vacation is used for treatment..no joy at all... i want to got out watch the movies, bowling, karaoke.but i know it would be just a dream since im recovering from my surgery.. ill be back in college insyallah on the 20th of november if im well enough...if not ill be postponing my studies..

SURGERY EXPERIENCE?

you cant never ever imagine what i felt few hours to my sugery at KPJ specialist in kajng..i was so damn scared n have a bad feeling about it..maybe i was just nervous.. then when i went to the operation waiting room this mr chinese guy gave me a medicine to calm me down..few minutes later i passed out without even entering the OPERATION THEATHER YET. hahha funny isnt it.but when i woke up it was like a bad dream i was in the middle of ICU room n in n EMERGENCY room.where they are putting wires around me and putting oxygen and tranfering blood was drip for me and so forth. i was panicking and i saw my mum,dad, along and abg hanif far away. iwask them what happen and no one replied.. i was so afraid thought i was going to die.. and started to scream WHAT HAPPEN?? DH BEDAH KE BELUM?? my mum replied : they cannot do it it to much bleeding so they are transfering you to HOSPITAL SERDANG. and i was like why?? inst here specialist??? infact the ambulance ride was like a big mess.. even im not 100% concious i have the gutt to hold to pedal since the ambulance is moving fast and im in a critical position. when we reached serdang hospital i was delivered to EMERGENCY RED ZONE..!!!! get it zone bahaya.. its like around 12.30 in the afternoon as i remembered. i saw.alias my sayunk, my family n auntie tipah.. that tyme i was still panicking and very thirsty but they dont allowed me to drink

.it feels like you are dying and like you havent drank 4 one whole year.i cried to the doc and ask them to give me at least a drip of water but they just watered my mouth....at 11.20 pm they sent me up to the ward emergency for me to rest... and i was critical for 3 days..all i remember CHRISTINA CAME N NAUFAL CAME N MY SAYUNK ALIAS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE...all i want to say FUCK YOU SPEACIALIST KAJANG AND THE DOC WHO OPERSTE ME.you dont know what your doing then stop being a doc k.... someone can die.....hurmm anyway spent 1 week at hospital serdang,,... and the food YUCK!!!! awfull...i was so weak that tyme n even now...but this will be a memory for me.. an di hope n i beg that i wont go through surgery again..not like this.....

thats all for now!!!!!!tooodles

currently recoverinf from surgery

hey bloggie!!! long tyme no see.. im buy with my life right now curing from a surgery that was done on the 18th of october 2010.only GOD knows how freaky am i when the surgery was not successful n i have to be transfered to HKL and during my critical time i was alive.. i mean i was concious even though i cannot responds... ALLAH gave me life n i will not let HIM down..... im so glad but i know i have to go through the surgery again cause they found a tumor.a very rare tumor..like1 in a million hurmmm i redha for what i get but im not strong enough to handle it all by myself....

SHORT N SIMPLE

its been so long that i havent write on this blog..this is because i was so buzy with life, well let me give you a bit of look what happen in my life this few weeks:

• im suffering a serious right leg pain due to my butt bone displacement which i need to to go for massage frequently and my operation has been postponed till 1 september. and i cant barely get up.
• i've been missing lots of class lately due to the pain, which i need to take a lot of rest and decrease my walking.
• besides that i also know that i have CYST. that is a small cancer in ovary.
• i miss my baby boo so much.
• we did a one day date and it was so fun.. we wacth a marathon movie, eat, laugh n fight,
• exams exams exams, which i coudnt do most of it....
• fasting month of ramadhan makes me feel a new me...

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

Born to a throne, stronger than Rome
But Violent prone, poor people zone
But it’s my home, all I have known
Where I got grown, streets we would roam
But out of the darkness, I came the farthest
Among the hardest survival
Learn from these streets, it can be bleak
Except no defeat, surrender retreat

So we struggling, fighting to eat and
We wondering when we’ll be free
So we patiently wait, for that fateful day
It’s not far away, so for now we say

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

So many wars, settling scores
Bringing us promises, leaving us poor
I heard them say, love is the way
Love is the answer, that’s what they say,
But look how they treat us, make us believers
We fight their battles, then they deceive us
Try to control us, they couldn’t hold us
Cause we just move forward like Buffalo Soldiers

But we struggling, fighting to eat
And we wondering, when we’ll be free
So we patiently wait, for that faithful day
It’s not far away, but for now we say

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And everybody will be singing it
(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And you and I will be singing it
(Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhhhh Ohhhh)
And we all will be singing it
(Ohhh Ohh Ohh Ohh)

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back

When I get older, when I get older
I will be stronger, just like a Waving Flag
Just like a Waving Flag, just like a Waving flag
Flag, flag, Just like a Waving Flag.

P/S: I REALLY WANT TO BE N STAND IN THIS WORLD LIKE A WAVING FLAG OF MY OWN

3rd semester

hurmm this semester. i feel a bit weord cause i promise to myself that there would be no more everynite outing n having fun.. evry night i have to study..since my course n subjects are getting tougher and tougher. ALHAMDULLILAH i get 3.16 for my 1st semester, 3.27 for my 2nd one n C+ & A- for my short semester.. but the short semester i know i could do better but i played a lot.. anyways my duty now is

(a) go to class

(b) go home rest

(c) playing with the lappy

(d) study study study

(e) notes done

(f) sleep..ZZZZ

PD TRIP WITH HUBBY

had a fun time yesterday.. me n my hubby went to PD. just both of us. with noodles French toast n spaghetti for our meal... had a great time on the way.. we laugh n chat n making fun of each other... wwent we reach there we went to RACHADO BAY CAMP.. my plkn camp.it feels so sad leaving the place... there are lots of memories there... then we went to the beach near telok kemang..there is a bit private beach.. first when we reach there we ate n then alias sleeps while i went to change. for swimming..

went he woke up we both went to buy hat..alias bought me a beach hat which i always want.. and its cheap..hahaha.. then we went to swim..alias lemas a couple of times n also me.hihih the water was very heavy n nice...we wanted to ride the banana boat n storm but change our mind..after we bathe we went to fresh up and u know wat i got PMS..spoilt..we wanted to stay there a bit more but due to that we went back cause i dont bring extra clothes..

on our way home we had dinner at a chinese restaurant.. and i order bamboo lala with taste..YUCK!!! hahahha then we went back to shah alam. it was raining on our way back n i was freezing cold n getting sick.my baby give me his clothes due to my clothes is wet..HOW ROMANTIK... thanx baby....

this trip makes me feel so happy.........

AKTIVITI KEGEMARAN

summarize

sekarang aku buzy dgn sem 3 aku..sem nie aku kena usaha lebih gigih biar dpt 3.5 untuk cgpa n 3.6 for gpa aku.. skrg aku emo sikit dh hampir putus ngn alias 3 kali.. x puas hati dgn seseorg n rasa nk g pantai untuk hilangkan semua nie... sem nie aku kena belajar betul2 n dh start rase tenseion.. xpe2 hurmm aku akan tunjuk yg aku boleh buat.. rindu semua org.. n bosan sgt3

long time no see

hey bloggie. i know its been a long time since i didnt update this blog.im currently buzy with my university life... classes, exams, assingment n etc. hope to get in touch with you soon.. stay tune..

BEING BUZY

hey bloggie.. sorry that ididnt update my blog in such a long time.. ive being buzy with my short semester and theres nothing much going on.. i will update my blog by next week.keep in touch

NEW MAKE-UP

I've been dreamin of having my own makeup.thats means the one that i bought for myself here are the pics of some of my make up...im glad to buy it

the white one i bought with my boo he payed half of it.... the 4 in a box is the new one that i bought and the blaxk one is from my mom
thanx bloop,elianto, silky girl, maybelline n more thanx 4 shining my days