Monday, January 10, 2011

20 years of age (HAPPY BIRTHDAY)

most birthday girl or boy will enjoy this day where they can celebrate it with friends and family n beloved one i a bit unlucky this year to celebrate my 20 birthday in sick condition.the only wish i want is to get cured and get rid of my tumor thats been bugging me out since april last year..

but as a birthday girl im glad that ALLAH give me long life a let me see his world again and follow his will. i promise and i set goals of not betraying him anymore.. he help me alot in going through my first surgery even though it was a failure. and i know he will be always by my side watching me and helping me.Im starting to fall in love again but yet im not ready to wear tudung yet.slowly lah kan.i nak betul kyusuk sembhanyang n recite the quran alot and when my iman is back then i know im ready to wear tudung wihtout opening it again...... hope so..


im sad that i have to extend my semester what a great birthday present but im doing this 4 my best even though i cannot graduate n practicum with my friends but i know that i will do better if im well in my studies now i want to focus on my health n rest a lot

Sunday, January 09, 2011

last day of being 19

its less than 24 hours and i will be 20 leaving the teens world reslly make me sad but entering the ty's world make me more mature.well i have only one wish is that i want to get rid of my disease.i want to be normal again.walk normal eat normal n urinate normal.its kind of hard wearing a tube n u have to move here and there..


Saturday, January 08, 2011


HOSPITAL is like a second house to me now. i know that i will be spending time there more often then my home or college. i really miss going to college.i wanna stud but im not capable of it. been admitted to HKL is a lot of experience. seriously our PRIME MINISTER should change the HKL building its too old and freaky n scary..its like a dungeon. but the room i get is cozy a bit its like a budget hotel..but they have hot water for bathe so i bathe like 4 times a day. in my ward that is neuro6A, most of the patient have tumor inside their head but most of them doesn't show any symptom of pain n sick..they we so happy n not feel any pain like me. here i met kak rohaida she has tumor in her head but she didn't feel any pain at all best for her right. and i met hidayah she is younger than me one year.she had an accident and was hit by 3 cars and she survive but faces lots of nerves problems. amazing right. and the sad thing is that before i hav to go for MRI scan i saw the nurse brings a corpse. i was shock and thought did someone died and yes one of the critical patient pass away i was sad because in the morning when i was walking to get the clothes at the store i saw the patient was doing fine but weak but the next thing i knew she is dead. but its good she died on friday..terlepas azab kubur die....if i have a short life i wish to die on Friday n at mekah...well i have exam next week but too tired to study cant barely walk now.. n have to do another MRI cause the old one sucks....

Saturday, January 01, 2011


Happy New Year everyone..its so sad that i have to celebrate my new year at the hospital..ive been warded cause i cannot urinate like normal person so i have to used THE CBD thats what the doc called i dont know the long term for it. all i know is that i might need to go for another surgery since my last surgery was a failure. and yet this time i hope it works..please ALLAH help me. i found out that i havea tumor and it might be a cancer. the terms for my disease is barely yet unknown cause it might be MALIGNANT NEURO FIRBO SARCOMA SACRUM (which is very dangerous) or NEURO FIBRO MITOSIS ( GENE DISEASE) I HOPE MINE IS THE SECOND ONE..

since its new year i have only one expectations and goals for this year that is :


Friday, December 31, 2010


there are lots of memories and experience that i face in this wonderful year..but there are also terrible things and sad things happen this year... let me give you guys a look into my 2010 journey..


* having a blast birthday celebration with family (1st time)
* celebrate my 1st anniversary with my dearest ALIAS ISKANDAR
* Watch a 2 football match at BUKIT JALIL stadium (kelantan vs n9 and kedah vs n9)
* got a good result for my exam
* went on a lot of dates with my boo
* eat JHONNY'S for a week
* got a new phone from dad N97 mini
* got a britney spear original perfume from dad
* Got a brand new car (viva @ lullaby)


* know that i have a bone displacement n have a leg pain problem
* went for traditional surgery at KOTA KEMUNING
* went for cyst surgery but found out that i have a tumor
* have to use a wheelchair to move here and there
* cannot urinate like a normal person have to used a tube bag

this is just some of the things i remember during my 2010 years lets hope the 2011 will be a better year for me.. insyallah...

Monday, December 06, 2010

18 november 2010

my surgery................

a new member of the family

Hello!! my name is Princess GaGa

i love to sleep like this

my sad face